Matthew 4:11

KJV
[11] Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

The more I think about this verse, the more inconvenient it seems to most theology. Angels drifting down to minister to Josh's wounds? Wasn't Josh supposed to face the world alone, fully human, and suffer with us?

I personally think that's exactly what Josh did. I don't think Satan or angels were thrown at Josh until long after he was dead. I have a feeling these angels have more to do with this particular story than with any biography. This was probably a legend ascribed to Josh or to some other Rabbi. The angels make for an ending to the story. Josh resists satan and is rewarded, an arc complete in itself, only later applied to this thing called a "gospel."

Matthew 4:5-10

KJV
5Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

6And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

7Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

From my Jesus to some fake Jesus. I don't like this part. These words were clearly put into the Devil's mouth, and put into Josh's mouth... the Devil making the argument for prophecy, and Jesus implying that he is God. All this makes for a completely unrealistic dialogue... it's like those awkward expository conversations in bad movies.

8Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

9And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.

10Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.


Yawn, where's the poet? The Devil is being more poetic at this point. Sheesh. It's really a travesty to see this boringness put into Josh's mouth just to support some ancient orthodoxy.

Matthew 4:3-4

KJV
[3] And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
[4] But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Not counting the unfortunate John the Baptist incident, this is the first time we hear Josh speaking. This is the Jesus I'm after, a zen poet deconstructionist. Imagine that, defeating the devil with wordplay. Instead of literally changing something to bread, as requested, he figuratively transforms bread into something more spiritual. He is the lyrical gangsta.

Note also that Josh is not calling himself God at this point. Only humans can be tempted. God is the source of his sustenance. Many Christians are pushing the formula:

JESUS = GOD

as the single most important belief, the core of their religion. For me, this formulation is precisely where Christianity went off track.

Matthew 4:2

KJV
[2] And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

I believe this is kind of a template for the hermit, not that this necessarily came first. In fact, I think the hermit happened first, whether it started with Judaism or another North African religion, I don't know. I don't think anybody knows. But this meme started around 0AD of people going into the desert to get wisdom from isolation, or to seek God or gods that way.

BTW, do NOT try this at home. Forty days without food is death, and not a pleasant one.